Fandom Weirdness Critique Part Deux (deux deux more like it)

When last we left our noble heroine Karen Hintz,  she was being propositioned by a sexually confused Mary Sue. Let’s peek in and see what happens next! I’m sure it will be uber darkity dark!

        “I don’t mind having a beer.”

That’s pretty much a necessity for everyone. Drink up! I’ll wait.

 “Have you ever experienced Déjà vu?” Michael asked as he cracked the top of the beer bottle.

Every time I read Peaches work I do. And aren’t there better ways of opening a bottle than cracking it? Seems a bit…dangerous.

It was a few hours later when Michael finished his beer and smoked his last cigarette.

A few hours for one beer?!? Lightweight.

“I am going to a diner to get something to eat. You are welcomed to join me.”

First beer, now dinner. The phrase wine me, dine me, 69 me comes to mind. I wish it hadn’t.

   In her mind it was a dark surreal imagination of what she would do with an actor she worshipped thinking what kind of nightmare she could dream up – it was a surreal place that is fandom and the writers like A.J. Poe who would get pissed when he sees his characters into situations that are truly bastardized

I’ve read directions on how to assemble IKEA furniture that made more sense. I mean seriously, what does this mean? I wonder if he had a stroke (not THAT kind you naughty minded people) while writing this?

 They walked over to Michael’s 1980 Cutlass Supreme and drove somewhere to grab a bite.

I’ve been to somewhere, they make a great apple pie. Also, a damn fine cup of coffee.

Michael spoke that the world of fandom is a weird, dark place where stalkers would lift the concepts and plots of original horror writers and do unauthorized stories based on the storylines of the original tale.

Exactly what the closeted Pacione does, though he writes it so incoherently you would never guess everything he’s done has ripped off the best writers around.

“They actually put a curse on the original author because they caught them stealing his concepts and title for a story similar and making the character he created into something they are not,”

I would think having to read this is curse enough. Or enough to make you curse, one or the other.

“Jesus, I think I heard of this blogger.  He is part of the circle that would lift the author’s characters to pick on his work,” she responded

Even worse, part of that circle that repeats the same thoughts and phrases to pad a word count.

        “The horror community wanted to draw and quarter him because he wrote that one.  It caused shit storm among the horror circles, the mass market counterparts would edit his comments to make him look like a homosexual fan fiction writer of sit-com fandoms,” he continued as he drove.

Mary Sue has a far higher opinion of herself than anyone else does, including family.

        “They wanted to draw and quarter him with semi-trucks

Yeah, I saw The Hitcher too. Great movie. I should watch that instead.

        “The horror stories of the small press wander around all the time

Much like the Island of Lost Toys, these lonely, abandoned stories wandering around. At least they’re safe from Pacione’s greasy mitts there.

 “He was a writer who voiced a hard line view in the industry.  A writer of all male romance take on horror

Also Nick’s favorite subject, fancy that.

People on a site called Somethingawful.com would lift him and write fan fiction passing him off as a flaming homosexual,”

I think he does a pretty good job of that himself.

 

And now we leave our heroine stuck in a 33 year old car with a stroke victim who can’t close the deal as his homosexuality emerges. Maybe something exciting will happen in Part III. Something, anything. Please.

 

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33 comments

      • So you made it your personal crusade to bury my company. I am on the verge of doing a comeback as an editor of all original authors in an anthology. You can’t bury something that doesn’t want to stay dead. There is an urban legend that goes with Tabloid Purposes, if you fuck with the anthology in any way your career will turn to shit, if you’ve been good to the anthology — you will be blessed many times over. I try to treat the roster like family. You are going to fail in burying my imprint. IF you don’t like a submission call for an anthology with strict guidelines create your own fucking anthology with guidelines to your liking. The industry wanted to draw and quarter me because I automatically round file any faggot horror.

      • That’s odd, I see it as the Tabloid Purposes blessing. Every time I fight with you, my sales go up and my company sees an explosion of profits. Thank you very much, Nicky

      • Nicky just because you masturbated to a dream had last night doesn’t make it a reality, no one gives a fuck about Tabloid Purposes, people screw with it or ignore it all the time and nothing happens to them.

      • I don’t hate women. I was talented enough to sell to magazines over the years and you are going to insult those magazines for publishing me. You are one of those assholes who would harass publishers because I don’t support fiction that has a lot of faggotry in it. I got contributors because they found me in those magazines, they started looking my company up after appearing in Withersin Magazine. You molest the genre with your glorified homosexuality. You call me homophobic because I have the balls to speak out against it.

      • When you threaten to harm them, insult them, degrade them-that’s hate. Period, end of story. And you’re right, I’ll tell anyone who comes in contact with you to stay away. Don’t like it? Apologize to everyone and shut your pie hole.

      • “I don’t hate women.”

        Oh, yes you do, Nicky. You suggested raping a woman in another post here, and your bile over another blog is more than sufficient evidence of that.

      • Calling women the filthy names that you do anytime you’re pissed off at one is hate, as is threatening to rape them, threatening to have your imaginary fans beat them up or run over them with a car. How about you mind your own business and quit worrying about who other people sleep with? You’re obviously pissed off that neither women or men want anything to do with you.

    • You have no respect for the English language. Plus, you wouldn’t know traditional horror if it landed on your face, wriggled, planted a zygote in your chest that would later burst out your butthole while reciting Shakespeare.

      • Is it true that you have fantasies about committing incest with your own mother and sister, that you are sexually aroused by bestiality, and that you desperately want to experience gay sex and are ashamed by that, so you lash out at others and project your fantasies onto them?

  1. Look you sodomite, just because your publishing company went down the shitter that doesn’t mean you have to make it a crusade to bury my company. I’ve been around nine years, I had only a few ungrateful pricks come in but everyone else we remained tight and kept in touch. My first anthology was started as a group of writer friends who were self-published and released their fiction on FIctionPress.com wanted to do anthology. My namesake you so lovingly took a shit on without reading it was also a group of friends from a writer site getting together and doing an anthology. I first did the project as a giveaway book when I did events as a show promoter part time.
          Promoting heavy metal shows is something I do on the side — I hosted a show in 2008 keeping a promise to my best friends in Iowa I made in 1999 on their guestbook that when I got published I would get them a show in Chicago. My first time published in print — it happened on my 28th Birthday. I called the publisher asking if my story made the cut. He told me on the phone the story will be part of the anthology. I originally was granted the anthology spot for a previous story. The story that I wrote for the anthology was an alternate. I started Tabloid Purposes One to buy that publisher some time to finalize my first anthology appearance. Brian Keene and Ray Garton wanted my career dead before it even started. When they found out that another author who ushered me in as a published author, they started bashing him too. Keene was stll pissed about me saying he didn’t deserve the Bram Stoker award. I didn’t say this out of jealousy.     He and Garton jumped on me because of my feud with Poppy Z. Brite. I was banned from HorrorWorld.org because I told them they wouldn’t know horror if they had a severed cock up their ass.     When I got published as the closing writer on New Writers Of The Purple Page, I appeared with future pub mate Paul Melniczek. Paul and I traded publications we did to see what each other was doing as writers — he got my controversial charity anthology and I got a chapbook that he got put together with my then future publisher and lead author on Tabloid Purposes 3. I did the third Tabloid Purposes as a contest, and the authors voted for my story via e-mail — if you thnk the story sucked, blame them because they liked and voted for it. That same story got accepted on the first try to Specficworld.com. The editor was an alumni of Cyber-Pulp and the magazine I was also picked up by was helmed by a Cyber-Pulp Editor. I learned how to be a publisher and do it the right way from the owner of that imprint. I wasn’t afraid to ask for help and advice how to be a publisher. That publisher gave me a seal of approval as I became a veteran micropress publisher. I’ve seen corrupt publishers come and go, Bandersnatch Books is another corrupt oublishing company I left in my wake.

    • How about you brag about some imaginary accomplishment in recent history? You need to realize that self-pubbing your masturbatory revenge fantasies does not make you a legit publisher. Selling something to a magazine YEARS ago for $10 doesn’t make you a legit writer. Grow up and get a real fucking job. I wouldn’t continue to come to my job everyday for 10 years if they paid me $10 one time.

    • 1. Bandersnatch didn’t go down the shitter; I put many things on hold to deal with some health issues.
      2. You have no business calling yourself a writer, as you have absolutely no talent whatsoever.
      3. Because you’re too fucking dumb to see, I’m no longer with Skullvines, and haven’t been since January. The current version of BWK was put out on my own, with a cover from a friend I’ve known since the late ’80s.
      4. You get rejected because you suck. Your reputation as a raving lunatic precedes you. Google yourself, every decent publisher does.
      5. Joe Lansdale called you out as a liar on FB. He never said anything about your work.
      6. You haven’t learned anything about publishing as whatever you touch turns to shit.

      Did I miss anything?

      • BTW-this is what Joe Lansdale posted on Monday. Just for the record don’t believe everyone who says I gave them a blurb and shows it as mine. There are a few assholes out there who have tagged me as saying good things about their work when I haven’t. Or they have taken something out of context, or on a specific thing and used it as some sort of broad recommendation. One of these is a homophobe and racist asshole who I will not name, as that just gives him recognition. He knows who he is, and if you know my views, you might know who he is.

        That’s YOU Nikita, and another example of you being a liar and a fraud.

      • Nicky, I guarantee that that is you that Joe is talking about. Someone pointed him at your webste with your quote. The first thing he said to that person who pointed him at your site was “I didn’t say that”. I wonder who might have tipped him off…

        You are a lying, hypocritical and stupid sack of shit. when you die the average IQ of the entire fucking universe will rise by 6 points. The niceness quotient (if it doesn’t exist it should – like an IQ but for how nice a person is) will fucking quadruple.

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