The Cabbie Homicide – One Cab Ride You Want To Avoid

And not because of the homicide, but it was typed by our favorite fan fic writer. Nicky “two kitchens” Pacione!  You may be wondering how I coulddelve into another one of his scribblings so soon, and the answer is I dipped into my kitty’s stash of catnip.  It was either that or the banana peels.

Oct 13, 1993. I remember that day as the day a friend of mine took the life of a cab driver in Itasca, Illinois.

August 15th, 2013. I remember this day because it was when my nervous system and brain activity spun out of control, near irreversible damage done by just one sentence,

 I have a lot of questions of that night of what went through his mind — and wanting to know why he threw away his life at 17 years old.

I have a lot of questions too, like why would you think you could actually write? I’d suggest basket weaving or collecting toe nails.

here I am close to ten years later writing of this horrifying crime —

Because I haven’t had an original idea since thoughts of model bound up being bombarded by Richard Matheson novels.

As it was written in our school paper

Never mind local news, television or even a pennysaver, when you need info, you go to your high school newspaper.

and there was nothing I was able to say to warn them about it.

That’s due to the fact you dodn’t know about it until long after it happened, dipshit.

Then the next thing I knew was that there was a clipping from The Daily Herold. It was almost out of the pages of a bad nightmare that I was not able to awake from

the thoughts that are still there are what would stay in the shadows wandering.

The bad writing is still there as well.

the questions as there were many when they sat in the courtroom and the horror drawn out from the drama of the jury.

What was the jury doing that was so dramatic? Shouldn’t they have been paying attention? Perhaps victims of your inability to string words together in a coherent fashion.

“You mean to tell me that you knew the murderer,” asked the Cab driver who was driving me from the sporting good store

Bwahahahahahahaha! We all know they greaseball would never go to a sporting goods store. well, unless he was picking out a new sleep sack.

 “I was supposed to do that call that night. The driver that died that night was a friend of mine,” he added.

Totally didn’t see that coming! Oh wait, yes I did.

“Holy shit,” the driver responded, “you are sure brave to write about this. I don’t think if my friend was a murderer — I would not of even tried to write about it. It would scare me so shitless that I could not even sleep at night.

Don’t worry Mr. Cabbie, Pacione is still afraid of his own shadow, and runs away screaming like a little girl.

With that I know it must be done — this narrative in the sense that I try to find the words to describe that he had done,

Well it isn’t, there’s still five more paragraphs of this crap. Don’t tease me!

I can’t. I just can’t.

Someone call me a cab.

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46 Comments

  1. Kudos for getting that far! I finished it, and none of it made any sense. Great job breaking it down!

    From what I gathered he didn’t report his friend to the police and didn’t break the news to well…anyone. It’s also not told from the account of the friend telling him. Or did I miss something? So he reads it in the school paper and then writes 10 years later about it in hindsight after reading the paper? I never read him actually overhearing the guy. Maybe he just read it in the paper and then imagined he overheard it? I cannot bring myself to look at it again.

    I think he has a formula when he sits down to write that is to make sure nothing at all happens.

    I missed the sporting goods store reference…creepy.

    Critique the Statue next. I promise that’s a good one!

    Enjoyed the Wham video. I’m not sure why George Michael appears to be making an aerobics video. Different time. Good times.

    • Going by what he wrote, it sounds like he didn’t know until after, but with how he writes, who knows. If he knew and didn’t tell anyone, he could have faced some serious charges.

      When I saw that line could not awake from, I thought of that song. It seemed appropriate. And those short shorts! Egads! ahh I miss the ’80s.

  2. You are in no place to be making fun of a story like that. If you knew the back story why it was written you might want to shut the fuck up about making fun of a story that is my most celebrated of my nonfiction stories — The Cabbie Homicide is my creative nonfiction catalog’s example of what I do for publishers. The Writer’s Post Journal’s editor invited me to contribute to the magazine two years after reading the Cabbie Homicide.

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