Getting Submissions The Pacione Way

First, you start by posting a self pic giving the camera your stubby middle finger. Follow this up by making a face as if you just pooped your pants. Third, make sure it’s so low res that it appears blurry and blotchy (though in this case, it’s an improvement). Since he’ll scream if I use the picture here, go take a quick look. http://unclefossil.wordpress.com/ Note: I am not responsible for any ill effects you may succumb to by viewing said photo. Proceed at your own risk! 

Once that’s done, refer people to wikipedia because you’re too incompetent to say what you want. Assure potential submissions that it will take 5 editors to make it coherent, then confuse them by calling yourself an executive producer.

Also, make sure you let everyone know your crap will be the lead story, no matter how much better other stories may be (let’s face it, anything will be better than his).

Refer people to a social network to get ideas for characters. Since Nicky has no clue how to create a character, he thinks everyone is as ignorant as himself.

Finally, pimp your own work in a lame attempt to make sales.

Do all that, and you can be as successful as Lake Fossil Press!

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91 Comments

  1. The picture was from a show I hosted in 2008 — it was taken by someone who snapped the picture of the opening band’s lead vocalist, the vocalist of my Gothicfest 2007 mate, Mykil Grim, and me as I was catching some air as my best friends were warming up before their set. I can write, just that you faggots are spoiled by Poppy Z. Brite and Clive Barker entertaining faggots while someone comes along like O.S. Card speaking out against homosexuality.

  2. What’s with all the Twilight Zone fanfiction references from Nicky lately? For someone who claims to hate fan fiction he lacks any imagination.

    5 supposed editors?? How can he not back up his work? Dropbox is even free….yeesh…

      • Melany you fat bloated whore, stealing my fucking titles for your recognition. My magazines alumni is well aware of what you are doing — stealing my titles that are closely associated with me, you are better off getting recognized by having a bukkake party with the entire backward hick town of Hampton, Iowa. For the record, April called me the hybrid of H.P. Lovecraft and her father about a month before I was published the first time and the curator of the Poe museum said that I was an updated version of Poe. Both over the phone, I kept what April said silent for nearly 7 years — when she died, I had to let people know who said it. If you want to insult Grabowsky for opening to door for me to be published, you can stay in your fucking one horse down and rot in the grave. You just don’t want our son seeing what I do — because you are deathly afraid that he would want the culture that I was blessed with.

      • LOL! You really need to take a good look at yourself. You’re the most unpleasant person I know. And you’ve accomplished nothing. You, your writing, and LFP are one big failure. If it wasn’t, you wouldn’t have to beg, borrow and steal for material. You’d make enough to finance the next book. But no, you make dick from it, because it’s so bad.

        Time to face reality, you’re not getting any younger.

      • I am far from being a failure, just faggots like you and stuck up rim jobs like Darren McKeeman told everyone to give the book shit reviews without fucking reading the damn thing. You wonder why he is out of the job at gothic.net — it is because I ended his career as an editor. I will make my money — just have to do it with nook as that is how I made money from More Frightening The Fiction. Are you going to insult Grabowsky and Vinson because they enjoy my work — as you consider Grabowsky one of your friends.

      • Nook will be out of business within a year you bozo. Don’t you read any news about what’s happening? No wonder you never make money, you have no business sense and too fucking lazy to do any research.

        I on the other hand had 5 articles published in the last two weeks. What about you? That’s right, too busy blaming everyone but yourself for your failure.

      • No Nicky- the curator NEVER compared you to Poe. You are a liar. He issued a statement denouncing that which you already know but refuse to acknowledge. I know him you raging idiot. It’s just like every other blurb you claim you have (usually from dead people) b/c you think it cannot be verified. Well, that’s where you are wrong. The museum and the curator in no way endorses anything you wrote and NEVER made anything remotely similar to a comparison b/t you and Poe. April never gave you a blurb either. The extent of your lying is pathetic.

      • You are a failure, Mr. Pacione. If you were such a raging success instead of a raging you-know-what, you wouldn’t have to keep reminding people about how successful you are. You wouldn’t keep whining about how everybody else prevents you from making sales You would have those sales. You don’t. Therefore, you are not a success in your career.

        You would not keep whining about how others are preventing you from having a girlfriend. You would have one, if you were a nice person, and paid some attention to personal hygiene You do not. Therefore you are not a success in your personal life.

        I could go on, but I’m getting bored.

    • Your son wouldn’t be intrigued you would embarrass the hell out of him with your disgusting looks, behavior, attitude towards everyone that isn’t you. He wouldn’t find your ‘jokes’ about rape, incest, necrophilia, and bestiality funny even if he could understand them. We’re going to make damn sure you don’t get anywhere near him.

  3. Oh, for heaven’s sake. Poor April Derleth. I liked her a lot when I met her, but she would be the first to admit that she wasn’t qualified to be an editor. That’s why she hired Jim Turner and then Peter Ruber. On that basis, I’m afraid her literary judgment isn’t too significant (she thought, for instance, that I wrote science fiction).

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