Imaginarium 131: The Just Us League Of Spoilers

Kyle Fulton returns to talk about the new Justice League movie as well as the Avengers Infinity War trailer! As you might expect, opinions vary wildly, so be sure to check it out!

 

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Three Long Nights at Camp Blood: Friday the 13th Jason Takes Manhattan.

Let me just get this out in the open right now. I really enjoyed Jason Takes Manhattan. I didn’t mean to, had planned on hating it, but damn if there isn’t something about it that I like. When folks talk about the least favorite F13 movie Manhattan usually tops the list, however I think it deserves a reevaluation, as there’s some really good stuff in there (as well as bad, which I’ll address). Kane Hodder returns as Jason, and dare I say it, he looks like he’s having a lot of fun this time around.  I admit when I first heard they were making this movie, I rolled my eyes and assumed they were really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Perhaps they were, and to many, they’d see it that way, but as I watched it again, it was like seeing a whole new film.

The movie opens with a voice over with shots of NYC in the background. All of those scenes are a foreshadowing of things to come and people we’ll see again, if not for very long. After the credits we then see two teens screwing around on a houseboat on Crystal Lake. It’s a stormy night (of course!), and when Jim drops the anchor, it gets wedged against underwater cables which break, and the electricity from them brings Jason back to life. Again. This time however he’s pretty waterlogged and squishy looking, but as strong as ever. So here we have the first two kills in the first 10 minutes of the movie, a good setup for the rest to come. There’s nearly 2 dozen kills in this one, and while some are done offscreen, many are pretty memorable.

Anyway, we then see a group of twenty something high school graduates boarding a yacht bound for NYC (When I say twenty something, I mean age, not the amount of teens). The logistics of this trip are probably best not thought about, just assume it was possible, and leave it at that. It’s probably one of the smallest graduating classes I’ve ever seen. Regardless all the typical stereotypes are represented, including this year’s addition, Rocker Chick. Of course Jason sneaks aboard, I mean what would a cruise be without a machete wielding maniac?

We also get to meet the main players: there’s Rennie the femme fatale, Sean who plays her wannabe boyfriend, Rennie’s asshole Uncle Charles who also happens to be a teacher and chaperone, and finally we have Mrs. Van Deusen another teacher, who I’m sure was called Van Douchen many times behind her back. Oh and there’s the geek with the video camera, but he’s not all that interesting to talk about, so I won’t. And almost forgot, we have the stuck up bitch as well, a definite holdover from the last movie.

Jason wastes no time in getting to work, and the first victim on the ship is Rocker Chick who is bludgeoned with her own guitar. To be honest, I can’t blame Jason for this one, her music was awful. His next victim is also one of my all time favorite kills in the entire series, not because it was especially graphic or unusual, it was just such a wtf moment. After some boxing workouts , one of the fighters hoes into the steam room and puts a towel over his face, as you do in these situations. Jason pops in, takes one of the hot rocks and jams it into the guy’s stomach giving him the first jeweled navel. I’m not sure what it is about this kill, but I love it.

There’s a subplot of sorts with Rennie having either visions or hallucinations of Jason being drowned as a child. It’s later revealed that her asshole Uncle had tried to teach her to swim by throwing her into the lake, where Jason tried to drag her down with him. Poor Jason, never much of a ladies man, was he? I only mention it now, because I’ll more than likely forget about it later on. The thing is, when we see Jason for the first time as a kid, he looks perfectly normal. As the movie progresses we see him get more and more deformed. I’m not sure what the reason for that is; maybe being under the water did that? Who knows-it’s one of the many mysteries this movie offers with no real answer.

The next mystery is how exactly did Jason get to NYC. After killing everyone but the four main characters plus the token black guy, the yacht had been pretty much destroyed by fire. The heroes (for lack of a better word), end up rowing a life raft all the way to the Statue of Liberty. They get off the small dinghy, and we then see Jason rise from the water and crawl up onto the dock. Again, it’s one of those try not to think about it too much things.

Rennie no sooner on the dock than she gets kidnapped by a couple of goons who inject her with Heroin and planning on a little rape action later on. Pissed they were cutting in on his action, Jason kills them both, allowing her to escape, no worse the wear from the drug she was shot up with. Apparently no one has ever taken heroin before, let alone shot up (the way we see one of the thugs doing it is laughable), because she would pretty much be on the nod for awhile. Regardless she catches up with her Uncle, her bf and other teacher. Julius is killed by Jason with one punch to the head, literally knocking it off. We then see it fly off the roof they were on, and land in a garbage bin.

The culmination of all this mayhem lies in the sewers, where toxic waste runs through every night. Now why the puddles of it and the chemical smell doesn’t do anything to them, is yet another mystery. However, Jason is caught in a flood of the stuff, and when it runs its course, we see Jason, not as the disfigured man, but the normal child-as if he’d been stuck in a shell and was now free. Yeah, you guessed it, that’s yet another mystery.

Jason takes Manhattan tries to play it straight for the most part, certainly more than some of the others. If the canon gets a little twisted, and things don’t make a lot of sense, it doesn’t matter because it’s a lot of fun. It’s one of the longest of the F13 movies, but it moves at a fast pace. It also looks fantastic, belying the small budget they had. As the writer and director, Rob Heddon did a good job, and it’s just sad the movie didn’t get the credit it deserves. It’s certainly the most underrated.

I give Friday the 13th Part VII: Jason Takes Manhattan 6.5 machetes.

Four Long Nights at Camp Blood, Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood

Meet the new blood, same as the old blood. This was the installment that was supposed to have the Jason and Freddie Kreuger showdown, but as these things go, that didn’t happen until much later. Fifteen years later to be precise. The idea was then floated about  that it could be a Jason vs Carrie, which the producer’s liked. One producer in particular wanted this installment to be unlike any other of the sequels, and had even suggested Fellini direct it.

Well, Fellini didn’t pan out, so we got makeup effects wizard, John Carl Buechler. While not the strongest entry, it’s certainly not the worst, and will be remembered for several things: 1) Kane Hodder’s first appearance as Jason 2) Jason’s iconic look was cemented in this entry, and 3) death by sleeping bag. The second one can really be attributed to Kane Hodder as his mere presence onscreen is enough to make one shit their pants. He;s big, imposing, and more importantly, silent and seemingly everywhere.

Like other past sequels this one opens up with a montage of the previous movies to remind everyone of the Dickensian plot and characters.  After all it had been a whole two years since the last movie, and people had forgotten this masterpiece of cinema. Once that’s over, we see a little girl Tina, who is telekinetic, and kills her father in a fit of rage after he hit her mother. The dock collapses under him and he drowns.  By sheer coincidence it happens to be the same lake that Jason was left in, in the last movie.

We flash forward ten years or so, and Tina and her mother, plus her psychiatrist are going back to the house on the lake so Tina can confront her past and move on. She apparently has been in a mental hospital for the past decade. Her shrink, Dr. Crews is played by none other than the Weekend at Bernie’s corpse, Terry Kiser. In another coincidence he gets to play a corpse here as well, at least for a little while anyway. It becomes quite clear that the good doctor has no interest in treating Tina, he only cares about her abilities.

After a particularly tense session with him, Tina runs to the dock, and ends up raising Jason from the (un)dead. As far as reviving Jason goes, this is pretty original, in a check your brain at the door type way. Since Jason has never been one to waste time, he sets about killing people immediately. He comes across a couple lost on the woods. They’re on their way to the other house for a surprise birthday party. Surprise may be an understatement here, as Jason makes short work of both of them and then goes on the hunt for more.

Lucky for him there are plenty to choose from. We have the token minority, the geek, the bitch, the bookworm, the slut, and the stoner, to name just a few. One of the members, let’s say the bad boy who’s repented, takes an interest in Tina, and even when she freaks out because she sees a vision of someone being murdered, he still goes after her. As it turns out, Jason does murder the person she sees in her vision, the cousin of Nick, and the reason for the party. Jason also kills his girlfriend and another couple off gallivanting in the woods.

Tina has a row with her Doctor who threatens to commit her against the mother’s wishes, and she runs from the house. The mother and doctor go after her and run into Mr. V with yet another sharp bladed instrument. I’m not sure where he gets all of these things but the kills are far more entertaining for having them. The Doctor uses Tina’s mother as a shield and Jason kills her. He runs away but it’s not too long before he’s tracked down and dispatched with. Because the producer on this sequel wanted to class it up a bit, the kills are virtually bloodless. You don’t see a ton of gore, and most of the effects were left on the cutting room floor. While it doesn’t necessarily take away from the movie, it certainly seems to defeat the purpose. What this producer didn’t understand is the things she disliked are exactly what the audiences wanted to see. As a result the picture suffers for it, but not for lack of trying on Buechler’s part.

As one can imagine when dealing with a teen with telekinesis, there’s a showdown with Jason and it’s actually pretty good, if a bit cheesy. The special effects aren’t bad for the time, and it’s fun to watch. Jason of course gets blown up in the house, yet somehow manages to return intact, only to be dragged to the bottom of the lake by Tina’s father. If the movie has a weakness it’s this second ending with Jason returning and the father comes out of the lake. It’s silly, pointless and seems like a cheap trick.

Buechler does a commendable job on a script that really could have been far worse, and by rights it should have been worse, yet he lifted it up. While he’ll never be known as a classic director of the genre, he certainly can make an entertaining movie, and in the end that’s about all you can hope for.

I give Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood 6 machetes.